April

It's not even April yet.

"It cannot work out between the two of us", April told Bergolf. "Arrggh! And I have already dedicated myself to watching anime" Bergolf thought to himself.

Anime was the first thing young Bergolf knew about April, and she loved it with half her life. The young man whereas, had never been a fan of the Japanese-originated concept; it always baffled him, even irritated him. "Why would anyone even watch anime, it's stupid", he felt. Meanwhile, Providence had been in conspiration with his fickle heart to get him to watch the artistic conception – and there was only one means for this to happen. So without the permission of his brain, he was made to behold the beauty of the young lady, and to love her, at least, so he thought.

Their first meeting was as casual as any meeting can be, and even the finest palm reader could hardly predict what was to become of April and Bergolf. The latter though, continued his life with the everyday perplexion and anxiety that plagued him, while keeping up with the steady buttoning and unbuttoning that life had busied him with.

He saw her on the street; he greeted her, she seemed confused; he gave her directions; she went her way; he went his way – that was all that there ever was to them, until The Conspiracy came in the way. As I have shown you earlier, Providence had colluded with his fickle heart to make him like April and to like her even to the extent of unstable existential madness.

Bergolf saw April and Bergolf liked her. His fondness grew thick and large and when he set himself to do the calculations, he saw that he could be with her, ceteris paribus, in two months' time. In his calculations, he saw himself returning from work, seeing her, and just resting his tired self in her bosom as she listened to all his troubles and adventures – something of a lover and a therapist she could be, he reckoned. But there was a problem and it had begun since he moved into the senior classes, you see... Bergolf was bad at Maths. So yes, he added and divided, he multiplied and prayed, but was he ever told that courage was needed in Maths? Perhaps not, because O boy!–was Bergolf a timid rascal!

As a native observer to the plot, I must tell you everything as it was. Bergolf was too shy to confess his feelings and April was too restless. She was stunning and so attracted a lot of attention from young and older men alike, and this ached Bergolf. It always moved him into a mood sadder than that of a Shakespearean sonnet. Particularly because, she always seemed to be just as interested in the attention she was given. His heart yearned for her and to see other men try their luck with her sickened him and it filled him with many morbid thoughts. To make matters worse for him, she happened to live just a stone's throw from Bergolf's hostel where he could see everything unfold – what suffering!

Bergolf usually went with Amir—his good friend, who also happened to be a good friend of April's—to a football field not far away from their houses. April often followed Amir, and Berg tagged along as he observed her. On the field, Bergolf was a different player; he broke opposition attacks and led his team to start counterattacks. Tenacious tackling; solid defending; brilliant passes; and goals every now and then, Bergolf was everywhere, because April was there, watching. Her presence spawned out better versions of Berg, even when she wasn't around him.

For instance, Bergolf once decided to go on a journey of celibacy—even celibacy of the mind—out of a sense of dedication to what he believed to be love for her. Even when school had gone on vacation and April(who was also a student in the same school as him) had gone home, Berg still stayed faithful. And faithful Berg did suffer.

Now I would show you how he suffered for the first part. Remember, I am but an observer. It was December when the school had gone on vacation. While April left on a certain Tuesday morning, Bergolf had decided to stay put until Saturday! It wasn't his intention to remain in his hostel for so long; he had run out of money and his provisions had finished, so staying back was stupid. But you see, he had stayed back so as to see April before she left for her house. He had hoped that he might talk with her and at least build some sort of connection, but he never did. Instead he watched her as she stepped out of her gate and entered the car that was to take her home, and all that time he said and did nothing. He had been cruel to himself and he couldn't help the pain in his heart – he loved her but couldn't tell her. That night that she went home, Bergolf nearly died, so he claims. And I, as an observer to all that unfolded, can tell you in truth that Bergolf nearly died. Sleep eluded him, his heart was heavy and the cruel mosquitoes in his room tried to take all his blood – perhaps as a punishment to his heart, for being so frail. The only thing that saved him that night was a handful of love quotes, 10 of which he posted on his Whatsapp status – that relieved him, but his dream that night was still haunted by her image and voice.

See now, I do not want to bore you with the many other details surrounding Bergolf's chaotic love experience but you must know that during this vacation period, while he was at home, Bergolf did everything within his power to suppress his liking for April. He meditated, he prayed, he hoped and he visualized, and legend has it that it worked. Now Berg was free from the folly of love and he had learned his lesson, but there was always something to be taught. The Conspiracy... The Conspiracy had plenty to teach. Bergolf believed his heart to be strong and mature now, but little did he know that his heart was now conspiring with a certain young man named Ali, to bring him; Bergolf, down.

When school resumed, Bergolf thought he had no need to trouble himself with love and it's excesses. Then there came Ali, a mutual friend of both Berg and April. Ali was annoying, obnoxious, pesty; although he possessed an air of fidelity around him and a charm that swayed more women into his bosom than one could possibly fathom. With this charm of his, while thinking he was doing his good friend Bergolf a significant favour, he convinced April that Bergolf was perfect for her. Whether or not she truly believed it is a tale for another lifetime, but she decided to entertain the possibility of becoming much closer to Berg. But did April really like Berg? A question all of Greece's finest gods cannot answer.

In truth, they became much closer, but Berg never thought of any of it to be real. It had to be fake. It was so spontaneous, too spontaneous to be from a genuine feeling. As time would expose, it took four days for their "talking stage" to collapse. Normally, April talked much more than Berg and he always listened with half interest in his heart. He barely had much to say to her but still enjoyed seeing her a lot, and perhaps that was the issue. No, it was more. As their talking stage came to a close, they maintained their friendship but April's movements sickened Berg even more than their "separation" had. It also saddened him and made him think much more than necessary. She seemed to befriend more boys and now spent less time with Bergolf. This had Berg confused as to whether she truly liked him or not an his overthinking self could never cope with her shenanigans, to this end, he always ended his night with emo rap(Juice WRLD to be more precise). But maybe she didn't even like him. Maybe she did. What if she didn't?

To put an end to the sorrows and speculations, one Sunday night, she made it plain to him – she did not want what he wanted. She was not interested. "It cannot work out between the two of us", she told him. Bergolf cringed. Not because of a heartbreak, no, that was too mawkish a reason. He cringed at the whole situation: the time wasted, the back-and-forth, and the utter awkwardness of it all.

But she had already given him so much hope, so why?

"Why must we always second guess when we say the first mind is the best?" — Nick Mulvey. But April refuses to acquiesce.

She was his Spanish Armada and he was the harbor she never returned to. More than ordinary; a fine fleet she was. We hope Bergolf is in good health. Today is April's birthday.